Catholicism, Courtesy & Service

My husband got a gift subscription to Forbes magazine, it's a perennial favourite in our household because both of us are self employed. Problem is, somehow Forbes got the wrong address, so it appears that a neighbour 100 houses away has been enjoying one of our favourite magazines. Managing a business, a household and two kids, meant my phone call to the customer service department got delayed. We missed several issues of Forbes. In phoning the the customer service department in the United States, I wondered how difficult it was going to be to build my case and extract the missing issues. I was delightfully surprised. Forbes not only apologized for the error, but offered to extend the subscription to compensate for the missing issues. No questions asked.

I am one happy customer.

At this point, you might be wondering why this story is appearing in a Catholic blog. How does this story relate to the Catholic Faith. Well, read on my dear friend, I just can't wait to tell you.

For well over 20 years, I have been delivering customer service seminars, many through the Schulich Executive Education Centre here in Toronto. Whenever I have instructed customer service seminars there is always a module on the concept of service recovery.

Service recovery has a simple but powerful premise: if a business does something to disappoint or frustrate a customer, it is critical for the organization to assume responsibility for the error, apologize and correct the problem. No questions asked. Service recovery also teaches customer service associates that it is also very important to do something additional to make up for the inconvenience or the error. To me, this has always sounded an awful like the Catholic concept of penance that my mother taught me as a child. I have always been amazed that some folks have not learned this from home.

In my household growing up as a child, it might have sounded something like this: "Dorothy, when we were over at Mrs. Frankfurt's house, you broke a vase. I know you didn't mean to do it, but let's go out and buy her a new one. Let's pray we can find an exact match, or one that's even prettier. Let's write her a nice card, saying your sorry. Let's wrap it up in the most beautiful paper we can find." Then, on the way to Mrs. Frankfurt's house -- we would of course get a beautiful bouquet of flowers or maybe some delightful pastries from the best bakery in our neighbourhood.

To this day, my devout Catholic mother at 84, is also relentless about sending thank you cards and expressing gratitude. Something that is so clearly taught in the Bible.

In this day and age, with mothers being as busy at they are, I often wonder if they have the time to do these things, talk about these things and show their children that what the Catholic Church teaches, what Jesus taught, is extremely relevant in the year 2010. It makes a heck of a lot of sense too, but our children do need us as parents to help make the connections for them.

In delivering corporate seminars on a variety of different topics -- I have made dozens and dozens of connections between what the gospel teaches and how it makes good sense in so many aspects of daily living. I can't talk about it openly in a corporate seminar, so I am thrilled to do it here!

Many of us recognize goodness when we get it. That goes without saying -- it resonates with a strong sense of justice that is embedded in our very souls. But how many of us are actually good at teaching our kids to deliver -- and I mean deliver a spirit of service to freinds, family, employers, schools and the community at large.

I have often been flabbergasted in working with corporations that are challenged in managing loss prevention, that's another corporate term. What does it mean? It means corporations are having to increasingly manage people (both employees and customers) who are stealing.

I can't help but wonder, didn't anyone teach them about the ten commandments?

When parents tell me that they have stopped going to mass with a litany of 101 good reasons, I just shake my head and pray that by the grace of God one day they too will make the connection. It's a powerful one.

My Father -- A Dispenser of Joy

I am sitting here and fighting back the tears. Today,  you see is a remarkable day.

My father died suddenly, unexpectedly while he was vacationing in his homeland on this very day. At the time of his death, he was at the place of his birth, an obsure small town in Poland called Wielun. I was born there too.

I am not sure why I am sitting here sobbing -- afterall I am over 50 years old and it happened 27 years ago. I guess death can take someone out of your life -- but it can't take the love you have for the person out of your heart. I loved my father very much, despite his death, to this very day I miss him very much. His life, his death have had a dramatic impact on who I have become, and I pray that one day I may be able to hug him once again.

Having some you love die suddenly and unexpected is both a cross and a blessing. On the one hand you are left with the realization that there are certain things that you have said that you wish you hadn't. I learned the hard way, that at times your last words can have a lasting impact. I also learned that no matter how hard you try, you can't control somebody -- so you might as well accept them exactly where they are. And do it with love. For some very good reasons -- I didn't want my father to go to Poland that particular year -- but something pulled him to this providential trip that changed so many lives forever.

We have all heard the maxim that often we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone, and this is particularly true when one reflects on the impact that our parents have when they are parenting us with a devout fervent Faith and an unshakable love. My dad was somewhat a maveric -- travelling to Canada with a family of six, into the unknown, to a country that introduced him to not only a foreign language, but many foreign customs and traditions which often alienated him. He couldn't understand why young adults had a need to move out of the house and become independant. He didn't understand why so many people were afraid of marriage, of having children, of being obedient to the Catholic Churches teachings. He didn't understand why different generations of family members didn't want to live together. My father was an immigrant and he worked hard in Canada. He was an entrepreneur, a musician, a butcher, a factory worker, a church organist, a choir member but most of all a dispenser of joy.

He was a lover of Mary, a lover of Christ.

His sudden death taught me many things; to value each and every moment, to live in a state of preparedness -- you really do not know the day you will meet your Maker, so it's always important to be prepared. Procrastination is also something I don't tolerate very well -- If something needs to be done, or an opportunity presents itself, I have always been very determined to do it or take it -- because the moment may pass, the opportunity may be gone and there may be things left undone. His sudden death taught me that life really is very precious and at times, I think I have exhausted myself trying to live my life to the fullest. His sudden death also taught me that not all dreams come true.

I was automatically attracted to a book written by St. Alphonsus De Liguroi called Preparation for Death, the reflections, the prayers and the sentiments in this book have called me to a deeper reality, one that quite appropriately, my parents have continually called me to remember -- our lives here on earth are merely a preparation for what lies ahead. As many saints have aptly put it -- each choice that we make takes us in one of two directions. At this stage in my life I hope and pray that I enter into each moment with a reverence, acceptance and obedience to His will in my life.


I have found that while I haven't always immediately understood the crosses that have been sent to me -- with some distance and prayer, I have eventually seen that each cross has shaped my life in ways that I could have never orchestrated on my own. Each cross, as in my father's sudden and unexpected death -- held a precious and supernatural gift.