TOGETHER but TEXTING

There is a new social phenomenon I have noticed lately.

I am sure thousands of people have noticed it, some are bewildered by it, others infuriated and of course there are those that are ensnared by it. I am not an expert on cultural trends, but I do want to coin this new trend which seems to be attacking the heart and soul of many a teenager. In fact, the habit, the trend has also afflicted the millennial generation, to some known as Generation Y – people born in the late 70’s to late 90’s.

Together but Texting  is the new phenomena of people socializing but at the very same time texting. You know, you’ve seen them, more importantly you’ve been with them. People who have their eyes, mind, fingers, in fact sometimes their very soul immersed in their cell phone, blackberry or ipad. I have seen them walking down the street only to bump into a pole, I have observed them at restaurants – families having dinner together, but each engrossed not in each others company, but the company of the people in their mobile device.

Awhile back, my husband and I were out for a walk down by the lake. It was a beautiful sunny evening. The sun was shining on the water, the breeze felt good against my face. My husband and I were having an after dinner walk chatting about this and that, when out of the corner of his eye my husband noticed a young man playing Frisbee with his dog. It was amazing to watch… until of course we noticed something that tugged at our hearts. I am not a dog lover, but I felt sorry for this dog. The man was playing catch with the dog, throwing the Frisbee into the water with one hand and immediately after he released the Frisbee into the air – he would start texting. 

The dog would very enthusiastically run out into the water, swim with vigour to get it back to shore, he would then run with great anticipation to his owner….  By the look on his face, I could tell the dog was quite proud of his feat, but when he finally got to his master, the guy didn’t even look up, never mind getting the dog a pat on the back!

You know there is something wrong with the world when the world of technology is beginning to infringe on the relationship between man and his dog! It’s getting out of hand, don’t you think?

I have talked to dozens of people about this phenomenon. Each has their own unique story;

 “My husband is a pilot, he thinks he’s invincible – he’s admitted to flying an airplane and texting. It’s just crazy. He’s risking not only his own life, but that of his passengers, but he thinks he can do it!”

 Another mom, “I don’t know who my teenagers are talking to, but all I know is what’s happening in that little mobile device, seems to be more important than what’s happening in the present moment, at home.” Another woman told me that while on first date, she honestly wondered whether her date was playing the field, or as they call it in this day and age “wheeling” on the phone, right while he was with her. It made her feel terrible.

Pediatrics, the official journal of the American Academy of Paediatrics has written a clinical report entitled—The Impact of Social Media on Children, Adolescents, and Families. It’s a great read and it’s free. The report helped me see that not only has texting affected our family lives but so has Facebook, Twitter, gaming; virtual worlds such as Club Penguin, Call of Duty, Sims and let’s not forget Utube.  

As Catholic parents, although tired and at times overwhelmed, we must keep in the know. Did you know that it is illegal for a child under 13 to have Facebook? Did you know that there is such thing as Facebook depression? Do you know about “sexting”? “Sexting” is defined as the “sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually explicit messages, photographs, or images via cell phone, computer, or other digital devices.”  Do you know the difference between texting and “BBMing”?

Navigating these impacts for parents is a modern day mine field. We have a duty to do our best to stay informed and maintain some form of parental authority. On-Line Gamers Anonymous has a great website for parents who thinks there kids may have gone too far.

In my our house, I keep on stressing the importance of the physical presence of a person.  

I find myself repeatedly saying, 

“When you with someone else, it’s important to be with them, to give them your gift of self and not to be distracted by technological bite size pieces of communication. There is a sacredness in the presence of a person.” 

I am looking hard to establish some ground rules of when it comes to texting. Here’s what I have come up with so far; no texting while at the dinner table, no texting while we are on family drives, don’t walk and text, especially when you’re crossing the street – you may get hit by a car.

Remember if you’re continually plugged in, you might not hear God’s grace from afar. 

Now, as any parent knows, it’s one thing to establish the ground rules – It’s another thing to have the energy to enforce them. 

I hear it's all the rage to post your new relationship status on Facebook. Sometime couples announce they are expecting online too! 

It's definitely a whole new world. I will never forget the look on my teenagers 's face when I suggested she get on the good old telephone to actually TALK to some of her friends.

She looked at me like I was from another world.

I am beginning to think I am! 

When is best to actually pick up the phone and make a telephone call? Is there a time when sharing real photographs with a real face to face visit is best? Do you remember the days when you would actually plan a visit with a friend to SEE their photographs from a trip?

Are there times when it's best NOT to post photographs... 

All of these questions are never far from my mind... 

 I would LOVE to hear what you think!