My Relationship with Stuff

Lately, I have been doing some de-cluttering. I have been inspired to write about something, I have wanted to write about for a very long time: STUFF.

I'm not sure about you, but I am often examining my relationship with stuff. You know STUFF, the stuff we buy, the stuff we organize, the stuff we don't know what to do with, all too often I find that stuff teaches me very important things about myself and the state of my soul. Do you want to hear about my relationship with some stuff in my life? Then read on my friend!

The Radio

Take for example THE white transistor radio. I have had it for about 12 years. My mom broke her hip that year and I wanted to bring her something to the hospital, something that would cheer her up. I thought a radio would be a great idea! Since she is not technically inclined, I wanted to get a very simple radio, one that had a simple turn on and off function, with no capacity for Cd's, or scanning stations, it had to be extremely simple. Secondly, I wanted the radio to have fairly big knobs, opposed to buttons, since my mom's arthritis would not allow her maneuver small sophisticated spaces. I was shopping for it during the Christmas season. I battled through dozens of stores, competing with hundreds of shoppers and bags in tow. I remember being really frustrated with all of the sales clerks. They were stunned that I wanted something so simple, a throw back to the 60's radio! You can imagine how heroic I felt when I finally discovered such a thing in a small obscure store in Sherway Gardens. I was absolutely thrilled. I just couldn't wait to give it to her. I couldn't wait to see my mom's reaction! I knew she listened to the Polish radio station daily, and now that she was in long term care, she hadn't been able to listen to it! It was going to make her days in the hospital more palatable. When I got to the hospital, with my little gift, I was filled with a joyful anticipation. I couldn't wait for her to open it.

When my mom did open it, she looked at it with a certain disdain and said, "I don't want this, take this home." She was in pain. I tried to explain all of the benefits of having a radio in the room. Her response was short and sweet. "It will disturb other patients in the room, take it home." I remember my heart sinking, but grace alone taught me something profoundly simple that day.

Despite my best intentions, and all of the hard work that my go with those intentions, I will not always be able to see the world from someone else’s point of view. Forcing the radio onto my mom, or even being hurt by the entire exchange would simply be an act of pride. It was my intention to meet a need of hers. The radio did not meet her need; it met my need, the need to try to be a "good and thoughtful daughter". Rather than fighting, I had to learn to let it go. Do you have a radio in your life?

The Lamp

I love going to Cloverdale Mall, I went to the extent of phoning the Director of Marketing and telling her about my passion for that mall. It's small enough and big enough. It's big enough that you will find everything that you need, but it's small enough that it gives you that cozy feeling. I have been going there for over 15 years and there are a number of sales clerks and hairdressers that have literally watched my kids grow up. It's easy to get that small town feeling in the big city if you look in the right places.

I am always delighted when Cloverdale Mall has an antique market, because again, it's small enough, but big enough. About five years ago, as I was browsing through the antique market, I fell in love with THE lamp. In fact, I was completely mesmerized by it. At that moment, in my mind, there was nothing in the world, more beautiful than THAT lamp. I just HAD to have it. There was nothing that was going to stop me from buying it, it would match my dining room perfectly, and it would be the PERFECT addition to my decor!

I schemed trying to figure out how I would hide this purchase from my husband, after all, we were on a budget!! I finally came to my senses and realized I couldn't hide it, since it was a pretty BIG lamp that would be plain view. Maybe if I was lucky he wouldn't notice it.

When I was carrying the lamp into the house, I felt like I was carrying a new born. To me it was precious, beautiful and perfect. It brought me so much JOY!!! I really couldn't understand the peculiar way that OTHER people looked at it. When I proudly asked other people what they thought of my lamp, they very politely smiled and uttered a few words.

The next time you come to my house, please don't go looking for it. You won't find it. It is in the basement. About three years ago, it struck me as being UGLY. When I look at it now, I can't help but think, "WHAT was I thinking, when I bought THAT thing?"

What has the lamp taught me about me? Or should I say, what has grace taught me about myself through my relationship with the lamp?I have learned that while I am not an impulsive shopper, I can have impulsive moments.

Little things can spark a passionate, zealous and joyful response. Not everybody around me is in sync with my range of emotions. This range of emotions, while exciting, need to be observed, managed and tested against God's Will.

What seems like an emergency isn't always an emergency. I have also learned that I am a changeling, my thoughts, feelings, attitudes and perceptions CHANGE. This changing dimension of my personality must be done through the lens of prayer and spiritual direction. I have learned through this lamp, a healthy distrust, as well as the fleeting joy that material goods can bring. I have not discarded this lamp.... It's a perfect reminder that just because I feel strongly about something today, doesn't mean I will always feel that way. Things may appear differently tomorrow. Sometimes, all we need is some time.

Do you have a lamp in your life?

Calvin Klein Jeans

One of my very first learning through stuff experiences came to me in my late teens. I guess I had just started buying fashion magazines and I became fixated by Calvin Klein jeans. The advertising and marketing team did a fantastic job at creating in my psyche, the feeling that Calvin Klein jeans would make me beautiful, and that THAT piece of clothing would help me make the statement that I wanted to make. The individuation process of a teen, I have since learned is quite complex, and Calvin Klein had made his way into my psyche. When I finally went shopping for the jeans, I realized they were so much more expensive than other brands, but that made them all the more desirable. I immediately started putting some money aside from my part time job, and I started to save for them.

As a teen, I spent a fair bit of time day dreaming about what it would be like when I finally owed a pair of Calvin Klein jeans. I hate to admit it, but now that I past 50, it's a lot easier to confess the sins of my teens. I relished every thought of becoming the proud owner of Calvin Klein jeans, not everybody had them! Well, when the big day came, the day that I had actually saved enough cash to buy them, I was completely dumbfounded when I tried them on! I actually hated them on me. I got really, really mad at myself for wasting so much time working for them, day dreaming about them, and actually believing that they were some how an answer to SOMETHING!

What did grace teach me as a teen, through my jeans? Coveting thoughts of material goods is a waste of time. Postponing feeling good, or being happy until we OWN something, is a waste of God's precious present moment. I remember promising myself never, ever to hinge my happiness onto something I wanted to own. I became determined through those jeans, years and years ago, never to be caught in the snare of brands and marketing executives. In fact, I ended up graduating from college with a background in marketing!
 The jury is still out on Coach purses.

Do you have any Calvin Klein jeans in your life?

I would love to tell you about my relationship with my refrigerator, the tale of two sewing machines, and my Converse running shoes, but that my friend would require a book

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