New Year's Resolution with a Twist

New Year’s Resolutions with a Twist

For years I travelled across the globe delivering seminars with the sole purpose of helping people in acquiring the skills and habits to be ‘successful’ at life and at work. One of those skills is the fine art of goal setting. It was particularly exciting delivering such seminars in Hawaii , Australia and New Zealand. It was a thrill to be a part of Anthony Robbins team in one of his programs in an exotic city abroad.

It was even a bigger thrill to meet Oprah Winfrey. I actually had the chance to ask her a few questions!

I was often amazed at the power of creating, visualizing and pursuing one’s goals. It became a bit of a passion.

In my life, the results often bordered on miraculous. It was exhilarating and exciting!

Being a type A personality, a driven entrepreneur, with the God given gifts of zeal, perseverance and courage, I absolutely loved teaching people how to set goals and achieve them. For years, I set goals, objectives, sometimes weekly, daily, often hourly and always yearly.

But then several things happened. I got married, had children, battled two recessions and got very sick.

As a sun worshipper, how do you set a goal for a vacation down south, when your husband abhors basking in the sun? Or, how do you keep up with a hectic travel schedule when you are holding a new born in your arms? How do you keep your goal of being organized when you are recovering from bypass surgery? How do you keep your commitment to stay calm, cool and loving, when unexpectedly your landlord won’t renew your lease?

Things happened, things that impacted me both personally and professionally. I became sceptical of setting goals and fascinated in prayerfully observing both what God was doing both to me, my business and my life.

In many cases my only choice really became surrendering rather than setting goals.

 It happened to me again this Christmas season.

I decided I would renew my old goal setting habit. I planned a Christmas cookie exchange, our annual Christmas skating party. I dreamt up small and wonderful gifts for family and friends. I wanted to shower unexpected gifts on a few special souls. I planned to host a big family party. I wanted to get special prayer cards for the kids in my Rosary Club. I planned to resurrect an annual “thank you” dinner wherein I invited folks that were a spiritual blessing in my life the previous year.

But then, at the beginning of the Christmas season, a few things happened; a small car accident in the family, my daughter was involved in a skating incident that required emergency surgery, three of the members of our family got a nasty bug.

I am still recovering from it now.

And voila, there it was again, God’s Will, call it Providence, reminding me of the reality of the limitations of my plans.

Nobody ever plans to suffer.

Instead of parties, hospitals, instead of delicacies, pills, instead of the warm feelings of friends and family, the need to cancel, not invite. Instead of pleasure, pain. Instead of company, isolation.  I wrestled with ugly real feelings, not heavenly consolations.

I have often thought about the goals I make in an attempt to improve my character, are those too in vain?

I have often said to my spiritual director, something along the lines of,

 “With all of my heart and soul, I want to be kind, gentle, nurturing and patient, and full of humility, but for the life of me, no matter how much determination and will I apply to try to be that way, I just can’t seem to do it. In all honesty, I know that if I say, “From this date forward, I will be less sarcastic, eat less, always moderate and never be jealous,” I just won’t be able to do it. There are so many ways I would like to change myself if I could, I would. Heck, I want to be skinny.”

I have wrestled with goal setting vs. submission for years.

Surely God doesn’t want us to live a chaotic life without goals or resolutions?

Sanctification needs the habit of making resolutions, doesn't it?
It seems to me, my spiritual journey through life is somewhat of an orchestrated combination of the two, goal setting and submission.

I have come to see the prayerful discernment of God’s Will can make a goal more compelling. I have finally recognized that every single one of my talents, opportunities and sufferings come from Him, each piece of business from Him.

Events that He allows to happen, good and bad, always give me the opportunity to acquire the virtues and graces that I so desperately need. I always have an important choice to make. I always have recourse to prayer.

Often sickness has taken me out of my doing mode, to a being mode.
When suffering knocks at my door, I now say,

"Oh, it's time to spend more time with Him."

How about making New Years Resolution with a twist, by allowing God in?

Have you considered taking on a saint or Eucharistic Adoration to accompany you throughout the year?

Consider these words by St. Elizabeth Ann Seton,

"The first end I propose in our daily work is to do the will of God; secondly, to do it in the manner he wills it; and thirdly to do it because it is his will."

Throughout 2010 I reflected on this quote by Blessed Teresa of Calcutta,


“We are at Jesus' disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed, if he wants you to proclaim His work in the street, if he wants you to clean the toilets all day, that's all right, everything is all right. We must say, "I belong to you. You can do whatever you like." And this is our strength, and this is the joy of the Lord.”

Last year I began my year with a nine day, one hour Eucharistic Adoration petition to Our Lord.

"What do you want me to do Oh Lord? I am a bit thick sometimes, so you will have to make it very clear."

I am happy to report that 2010 was fruitful. I just can't wait to see what 2011 will bring!